..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
accomplished twins. life is a go
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize