Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
