Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
