I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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