You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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