she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
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i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
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SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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