i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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