Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
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My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I fill condoms, not promises.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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