did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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