just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
