You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
