I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Bring me that man meat
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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