I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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