your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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