arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize