I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
