how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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