chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
