Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i barfeds in our rink
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
