Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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