doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
