So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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