I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
