I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
