i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
