I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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