Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
