Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
