I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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