come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
