You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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