Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
