I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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