Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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