ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
