I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
