So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
