it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.