May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records