i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.