that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
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I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town