Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Your dad touched me again.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.