My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid