omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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