My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
