he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize