the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
