Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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