I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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