there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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