Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
