yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
