definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
