And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
