it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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