dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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