paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Be still, my beating vagina.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
