So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize