is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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