You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
