There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Two words: blizzard sex
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
