do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
